Re-grouping is always part of an excellent action plan. I think sometimes it is the piece we neglect feeling that it is too passive, when it is actually extremely active! The following is a post on managing personal transitions through re-grouping.
The catch is not to stay in re-group mode too long…opportunity is always knocking. Staying in re-grouping mode too long will lead to mental atrophy, which you can easily fool yourself into not believing as you are ‘learning’. There is no better learning process than the doing process. Don’t miss the opportunity to open the door and let opportunity in! If you wait to long it will move on.
My biggest, fattest most overwhelming challenge is my ability to ask for and/or accept help. I know this and I am working on being more open and letting the blessings flow not just out of me, but back to me as well. Having said that it does bring to light that we all need help on occasion. And asking for help is a brave and lovely thing to do as it allows others to give and feel glorious doing it. Not to mention it feels outstanding to feel the support of others. The converse to this scenario however is expecting help, in which I mean having others do for you what you should be doing for yourself to grow.
Looking for and getting others to do your work is many things. It is convenient, easy, saves time, etc. What it is not however is helpful or empowering. Every time we face a challenge or hurdle there is opportunity for growth and empowerment. It is all to easy to spend more time trying to parse out, or excuse away, what you do not ‘feel’ like doing or want to do then it would have taken to just do it.
It boils down to this, if you have the capability to do something new, and you know in your head and/or heart it is your responsibility to do so, do it. If you do not have the capability, ask for help, and then be open and grateful in receiving it.
There are a few different types of people we encounter. It is important to identify them as it impacts your time and your productivity. There are those who want you to do the work for them. There are those who want to do the work with you. And there are those who will do the work for you or for themselves. Each type can be an asset or liability depending on the dynamic you are in. But in today’s post we are going to address the ones who want you to do the work for them. For the most part these are ones you want to distance yourself from, unless, you have time and energy to burn.
How to identify the ones that want you to do the work…
It is not always obvious who these people are because they can have a dual identity. Their behavior may morph depending on who they are around. Sometimes these people are not capable of doing what they are leaning on you for and sometimes they are and for a myriad of reasons they just aren’t doing the work. There are certain tell-tale signs however that can be red flags…
1) Do you find yourself always having to take the initiative. There is a fine line in between coaching and having to pull someone along.
2) Are you the active creator and implementor? As in if you were not part of this duo would anything be happening on the project? Is there true mutuality?
3) There is no real learning or training up going on. You might as well be talking to yourself. You may just be a lily pad among the frogs many jumps.
4) Could you be moving farther and faster and more enjoyably without this person?
I am all about helping someone get a leg up. I love teaching and enjoy every class I teach as well as every client I coach. But there is a line between empowering and enabling. Empowering is a win-win and enabling is a lose-lose. So whether it is in a work or personal environment be aware of who you share your time and talents with…as it is not an equal playing field.
I really value some of the information and stories that come across through this online resource. “fear.less” is a free online magazine empowering through stories of overcoming fear. All kinds of examples and all types of contributors make this an appealing resource to entrepreneurs, business leaders, artists, etc. The “About” on their web site says it succinctly, ”these stories demonstrate the hidden potential we have to confront our fears and come out victorious.” Enjoy!
Sometimes it is nice to see things laid out. It is easier for me to look at my upcoming week or month on paper, more so than in Outlook. So having resources for both digital and hard copy planning and scheduling suit me well.
Along those lines, check the following resource out from my friend Maria Murphy. Maria has been interviewed on NPR and interviewed and published any many other places as well. She is a licensed psychotherapist, adjunct professor, writer and speaker. Her mission is to create opportunities for personal wellbeing. Through her practice, national coaching program and her wellness website, she helps individuals develop the skills they need to create the fulfillment they seek. Her writing includes the Simply Put Together Planner series, 365 Days to Simplicity and Organized Me! She is a regular columnist for My Nassau Sun of the Florida Times Union, Indy’s Child, Cincinnati Parent and Tutor/Mentor Connection, a national non-profit organization based in Chicago. Maria also champions military families and is host of the “Me Minute” for Army Wife Talk Radio. Maria, a former resident of New York and Chicago, resides on Amelia Island, Florida with her family.
Simply Put Together is your guide to creating a life that’s more balanced, fulfilled and happy. A psychotherapist with more than 15 years’ experience, Maria has developed strategies to: make life more manageable, easily practice personal wellness and get more out of life, whether at home or on the job. Sign up for her free e-letter, her ongoing tweet tips, free downloads or check out her unique wellness planners. www.simplyputtogether.com .