Are you sharing your opinion or judging?  If you are a leader and/or boss, criticism, judgment and disappointment have no part in your success plan.  That is if you want to be successful. 

What should be part of, all of your plan is evaluating where people are so you can meet and guide them from their perspective, developing them, not judging them.

I was listening to someone complain the other day about something someone else did not do for them.  I asked them why the other person didn’t do it.  They responded they didn’t know.  I asked, “Did you ask them to?”  They responded sheepishly “No.”

It is YOUR responsibility to ask for what you want. If you do not ask for what you want, please don’t be surprised when you end up unhappy and/or when you end up far down and entrenched on a path you are not crazy about.  (Although you can always ask, at any point.) If you are not liking this post so far…chances are you may be on that path.

Will you sometimes be unhappy anyway.  Yes.  It is much easier however dealing with disappointment than dealing with being stuck, because you were afraid to ask.  It is your life.  Are you wasting time?

Is asking hard?  Sometimes it is.  But being on a path that is not going where you want to go is actually much harder and last WAY longer.

I had a conversation with a Chamber of Commerce Executive Director this morning.  We were talking about ‘pulling the trigger’ and how so few people do.  So many of us can get caught up in the ‘what ifs’. Without action we have what?  Not much. Think of all the great achievements in this world and in history.  What if those driving them merely formed committees and sub-committees?  I like the following quote.  I think it conveys the idea of ‘doing’ quite nicely. “I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” ~— Leonardo Da Vinci

What stops us from doing?  Fear.  Fear of failure or ridicule or taking the blame…whatever, it boils down to fear.  The Executive Director at the Chamber hit the nail completely on the head.  Putting himself through college he worked as a fireman.  Now that my friends is true pressure and serious consequences when it comes to outcomes.  He said it taught him how operating out of fear is a losing proposition.  Working out of fear and panic leads to bad decisions.  How absolutely true this is!  Think about it, seriously, how devastating is taking a risk in your job? It isn’t.  If the worse case scenario is you could get fired, well that isn’t so bad.  Wouldn’t you rather be in an environment that supports growth?

Whether you are in an environment that supports growth or not will only be determined if you take action and pull the trigger.  Like T. Boone Pickens said, “Don’t fall victim to what I call the ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome. You must be willing to fire.”

We all know people, and sometimes the person may even be ourselves, that rather be right than happy. Life is fluid so adjustments sometimes need to be made to get us where we want to go. This applies to our goals and benchmarks as well.

Think about it, what you wanted at age 10 probably changed by age 20, 30 etc. It is the natural pattern of life. We grow and change as our we live through new experiences. Life is full of change so it stands to reason that we change right along with it. Sometimes a sticking point to this natural path in life comes in relation to our careers. For a myriad of reasons we may be on a path and feel we must stay on that path regardless of the level of happiness it brings. If you find yourself in this dynamic I have two recommendations you may want to consider. One, adjust your path while staying in your current career. Or two, adjust while easing out, or flat-out leaving your career.

Just like many things, one career may not suit you your entire life. If you started at the company when you were 24 at 44 both you and the company are most likely entirely different animals. The good news is that is great because it means you are growing! But to both grow and remain happy in your position you must make sure you are checking in with yourself and gauge your authenticity on a regular basis. Failure to do so can lead you to a place where nothing but unhappiness or lack of fulfillment exist.

More good news, it is easy to grow and either stay where you are career wise or jump into a new career. Start with some easy basic writing exercises.

1) Write about your current position. Then write about your dream job. Can you get to the dream from where you are? Perhaps it just involves a little tweaking or creative discussions with management. Maybe it involves a shift in the company or requesting additional or alternative tasks that feed you and your growth. If you can’t see a line from where you are to where you want to grow, perhaps you need to start considering alternative employers or self employment.

2) Write your current values down. Are these values the same for the most part as your employers? If so great, there is room to maneuver. If not you may need to do a serious self integrity check. Do you really want to support an environment you do not believe in? Worse yet, do you want to lower your integrity and the quality of your output due to such a conflict?

3) What is important to you? Write down what the deal breakers for you in life are. What are the values, circumstances, financial elements, geography, etc. that you are not willing to negotiate on? Where do you draw your line in the sand? Once you define what you are willing and not willing to be flexible on you will discover you have more options than you may have originally thought. Knowing what is non-negotiable to you will help you identify all the opportunities that are out there.

Starting with any or all of the above three steps will get your creative juices flowing. A much better scenario than just sitting around and stewing. Go get ‘em!

Hang with me…there is a point…

I have naturally curly hair.  When it is humid it is obnoxious.  Being human of course I always wanted straight hair growing up (and on humid days sometimes now.)  So often I would straighten my hair and force it into its un-natural state.  Eventually some of it permanently loses curl or curls the wrong way.  So  now I have crazy ringlets and occasional non-conformist requiring I curl it.

That little exercise in vanity taught me that if I would have just gone with how I am it would have been fine.  Instead I forced myself into an un-natural ideal that does not work long-term for me and now have added additional work to my plate to re-correct.  Don’t we all do this on some non-hair level in our lives?

Fitting into the norm is necessary in some environments and circumstances.  We can pretend it isn’t but the reality is if you want to walk the face of the earth and at some point feed, clothe and house yourself there are just some things you must abide by.  There is a difference however in between operating within the norm and conforming.

Conforming is operating as you ‘feel’ you should be.  It is like straightening your hair.  You can do it, but it won’t bring your natural talents and skills to the table.  Trust me, I know of what I speak.  I’ve done it with my hair and my career and neither ended up happily.  So if you are doing it, and if you are human, you most certainly are on some level, have the fortitude, just plain old guts,  to bring yourself to the table.

Bring yourself to the table, not a version of yourself or yourself with excuses, just you. And know that when you do, there may be an adjustment period while people re-aclimate to the real you.  Be easy on those aclimating…afterall you have been deceiving them for quite a while.